A Slow Fade

Tonight I want to talk about something that has really been placed on my heart recently.  I was at The Walk last wednesday where there was a guest speaker.  To be honest, I didn't really expect to feel anything differently than going to church every other week, but it was different.  He began to share his testimony and like any other..  His past was filled with drugs and alcohol and then he had a come to Jesus moment.  But what was different about his was that before he fell into that life of sin, he was in seminary and had been raised in the church his whole life.  He went on talking saying that it was a slow fade.  The first thing I thought about when he said those two words was the Casting Crowns song "Slow Fade".  This is the chorus: "It's a slow fade when you give yourself away.  It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray.  Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid when you give yourself away.  People never crumble in a day, it's a slow fade."  That really hit me.  Because honestly, I can see how easy it is to make small choices that will lead to large problems in my life.  These small choices to not read my bible, to not journal, to not pray, and to not surround myself with positive influences cause me to begin to not feel convicted when thoughts go through my brain.  Like it says in the song, "It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray."  I feel like this is real in just about every aspect of my life.  Growing up and even until recently, choices have been very black and white.  I am either right or wrong, good or bad.  Now, I have started seeing things that would have been wrong and saying, "well it isn't that bad if I really think about ..".  This is why lately I've really been asking God for conviction.  I want to be convicted about not only my actions, but about my thoughts as well.  Because, if I am convicted in my thoughts, there is a less chance that I will follow through with my actions.  Just as importantly, help me not place judgement on people that sin in different ways than I do.  Just because I want to be convicted about my sins, does not mean that others want me convicting them.  It is so important to remember that we all sin and fall short of God's glory.  And because of that, we can't look down upon or get angry with others who may struggle in different ways than us.  Love God and love people.  So I guess to sum it up.. I really want God to start convicting my heart with my thoughts and my actions.  I don't want to slip into that slow fade that is so easy to do.  Also, I don't want to convict others for their actions just because I want God to convict me for mine.  I want to leave all of the convicting up to God.  And the most important thing I want to remember is to always love God and love people.           

My Determined Purpose

I have been reading Beth Moore's mini books that you find at Lifeway or other christian stores; they are about 3 or 4 chapters long and they are only a couple dollars per book.  More importantly, the information inside them is AMAZING! I have connected with Beth Moore's work more than anyone else out there.  She speaks simply, powerfully, and has an amazing amount of love for every single person God has created.

I began reading one that I received at Passion called "Purpose".  It is about discovering the purpose God has for our lives.  The main verse that this discusses is the Amplified Bible version of Philippians 3:10.  This says, "My Determined Purpose is that I may know Him, that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His person."  In this book she dissects every single word and its relation to the verse as a whole.  I am just going to talk about the first 3 words "My Determined Purpose".  

In my opinion, the reason Paul uses the word "my" first is extremely important.  This is because it is so easy to focus on the lives of others.  We are so quick look at others lives and think that they need to get their act together, or they need to change.  Often times we spend so much time doing this that we lose track of our own relationships with God.  We try to cling to the people that we love, and often this leads us thinking that we need to fix them or control them.  All the while, we haven't truly experienced God for ourselves. So back to the verse, the only person that you can determine the purpose of is yourself.

The next word is the word determined.  The word determined in the dictionary means, "the act of making or arriving at a decision; the quality of being resolute or firm in purpose; the act of settling a dispute..."  We must have a decision made up, firm in purpose, to know Christ.  I learned something really neat about the word covenant.  If you have gone to church your whole life you have probably heard that word many times, and God refers to the "new covenant" as his church.  Well, the word covenant is berett in Hebrew.  Another word for berett in the Hebrew dictionary is not only covenant, but the word determination also.  So God has not only made a new covenant, but a new determination with us through Jesus.  He will never give up on us.

The last word in that phrase is the word "purpose".  Purpose is so important to the lives of humans.  everyone seeks to know why they are here and what their purpose is.  If we have purpose to our lives, it gives us strength to get through almost anything that we face.  It is so common to live your life doing many different things everyday, but not doing any of them well.  But God has designed a purpose to each of our lives, and once we have that we have a feeling of fulfillment.

Now go back and read Philippians 3:10.  "My Determined Purpose".  As you read think about how those three words impact the meaning of that verse, and think about what an amazing purpose God has called us to.  If that verse is YOUR DETERMINED PURPOSE, then I believe that it has the power to transform every part of your life.  

Put God Above Everything

       I came across a quote the other day that I found very applicable to life.  It said, "A roller coaster wouldn't be too much fun if you couldn't get off of it."  So often life is just like this.  Recently I have felt like my life is constantly up and down.  Some days I will find myself higher than ever.  I am so content with my walk with Christ, and I feel extremely blessed.  Other days I feel down.  I still know that I am blessed, I just choose not to think about it.  Instead I think of the negative aspects of my life.  I know that I can't do this alone and that I need God's word to help heal me.  However, on these days it seems I attempt to convince myself that there are other easier ways of healing: people, movies, music, my own strength.  And in the end, these things may truly bring happiness to my life.  But they will not bring joy.  The happiness I receive from spending thirty minutes on pinterest fades as soon as I get off of the website.  The Joy I feel from reading God's word for thirty minutes does not fade when I get done.  So why is it always so difficult to decide to read my bible instead of waste away time on the internet?  Especially when God is yearning for me to spend more time with him.

       It seems that every day is a new battle for me when it comes to spending time with my maker.  Everyday that I put him off, I am putting something else above him.  Then, I wonder why I have so much doubt and worry and trouble and sadness in my life.  I thought about one of my favorite verses and that is Matthew 6:34.  I opened my bible and turned to that passage, but instead I read the verses 25-34.  I noticed something that I have never noticed before about these verses.  Verse 33 reads, "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."  It goes on into verse 34 that says, "Do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own."

       What stuck out to me about this was the part of verse 33 that said SEEK FIRST.  I have to put God above everything in my life before I can give him all of my worrying.  What I think I am trying to get at is this...  If I want to feel the joy that God is offering me, I need to take time and persistently communicate with him.  He must come first in my life.  That is when I will receive the peace and joy that he is begging me to take.

Watch what fills your hearts.

The other day I realized that I hadn't blogged in a really long time.  Kind of depressing because honestly I haven't really journaled or studied the word in quite some time either.  I got to thinking about the Word, and our lives, and the verse that came to mind was Proverbs 4:23.  This says, "Above all else guard your hearts, for everything you do flows from it."  So if I'm not filling my heart with Godly things, what do I expect others to see from me?

That is what this whole life is about, leading others to the cross.  If we aren't being a light then there is no purpose to us, and how can we be a light if there is not light in us?  Basically we have to be filled to fill others.  It is a constant struggle and a daily battle that Christians face.  But it is so important to remember every day is a new day to pick up your cross.  This meaning, be united with Christ every single day and let him lead you. 

I have really been struggling with this lately.  It's so hard to get into the word and remember to read it everyday, but without it it's so easy to let your actions show what is going into your heart.  So many times I don't show the love that Christ gave me to others.  

I feel like if you are constant in the Word, you will find it so much easier to share the fruit of the spirit.  Each of which is so dependent on the other.  Without love you can't have joy, without love and joy you can't have peace, without love, joy, and peace you can't have patience, without love, joy, peace, and patience you can't have kindness... goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.  All of the fruit build on each other.  Sometimes I wonder why it is so hard to have self-control, and then I remember there is a reason that God put it last.  Without all of the other fruit it is impossible to have self-control.  It is so important to read and study the word to gain all of the fruit.  They are God's gift to us, but we have to want them and work towards obtaining them.  With the fruit you can lead the life that God has called you to lead. 

So the main points from today are....

-Watch what you put in your heart, because your words and actions are a result from what is in your heart.  

-Take up your cross daily, and be united with Christ throughout your day.  Everyday is a new challenge and a new chance to live for 

Christ.  

-Know God's word and study it daily.

-Remember that the fruit of the spirit build on each other and work to gain all of them.  Remember to build your relationship so that all of the fruit are constantly shown in what you do everyday.  

Seventy Times Seven

Over the past few days I have been reading the book Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. (great book.. everyone in the world needs to read it!!!)  I got so much out of that book, but one of the main ideas of the book is forgiveness.  It truly shows you that it is impossible to love without forgiveness.. But forgiveness isn't easy.. most of the time its the hardest thing to do.  When people cause you pain or grief or anger the last thing you want to do is forgive them for it.  It is so easy to fall into the sin and so hard to hand it to God.  Your pride is constantly telling you that the people that did this to you deserve it.. And it is so easy to hold on to all of the anger but all along you know God wants you to let it go. We are called to let it go...

"Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who has sinned against me? Up to seven times?' Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven" -Matthew 18:21-22

Jesus wants us to forgive our brothers and sisters seventy times seven, because thats how he forgives us.  He never stops.  And when you think about what someone may have done to you to cause you all that pain and anger just think of all of the pain and anger that you have caused Jesus.  Our sin weighed on his shoulders on the cross but he loves us enough to not only forgive us for it but to forget about it... that sounds like a pretty good promise to me!  So without all the bitterness built up inside, its easy to love.  Without the anger you can show others the grace of God.

And so make that your prayer today.. Ask God to forgive you and for you to be able to forgive others, because once you have forgiven, you can be capable of God's love.

But the Greatest of These is Love:

So recently my entire Facebook newsfeed has been filled with hate for Chick-fil-a.  I kind of just want to say exactly how I feel about gay marriage and just about everything in reference to God's word...

"For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural, and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the women and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons due penalty of their error.  And just as they did not see fit to acknowledge God any longer, God gave them over to a depraved mind, to do those things which are not proper." -Romans 1:26-28

It is pretty clear that homosexuality is against God's will from this verse.  However, is it my place to condemn someone for their sins?  If all sins are equal then how is it that we find it so easy to condemn others for theirs? (With that being said, I don't think it is wrong to state your opinion like Chick-fil-a has done)  Also there is a big difference between being tempted and falling into the trap of sin...

"When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me."  For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed.  Then after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death" -James 1:13-15

So I believe that even if you are tempted to fall into those unnatural desires, it isn't against God's will until you actually commit the sin.  With that being said, that is the same desire a man could have towards a woman when they are not married.  A sin is a sin, and sleeping with someone out of marriage is the same in God's eyes.  So why does homosexuality seem to be blown out of proportion?  After all, "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God"... I think that it is easy for people to judge a sin that they don't struggle with.

"When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, 'If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.'" -John 8:7

So many times we judge other people for what they do wrong, while we are sinning as well just in a different way.  It is so hard for me especially to look at the wrong others do and not point it out, but what good does that do for God's kingdom?  Hasn't he already told us that he will be the judge?  More importantly we should be focused on praying about it, and loving the sinners.  One of my favorite quotes is, "have you prayed about it as much as you've talked about it"  And that is so very true.  First and foremost God has called us to love one another, and if we are doing that then what are the chances that we are judging our neighbor? I think they are pretty slim...

"And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love.  But the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:13

What I hope for you to gain my words is this:

• First and foremost love everyone, because love covers so many different sins at once. (1 Peter 4:8) and if you love everyone the way Christ loves you, you are probably not judging other people for their sins.
• Second, always be in constant communication with God.  Talk to God about everything before you talk to others about it.
• And last but definitely not least is try not to look down on others for things that they have done... in the end the only thing that matters is God and his kingdom.  Focus more on building people up than tearing them down for their sins.  Chances are, you have probably sinned too.  

Not My Will, But God's:

Romans 12:2 "Do not conform to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is.  His good pleasing and perfect will."

This verse has meant so much to me over the years. I guess you could say that it has been my life verse, because this is honestly one of the verses that I base my life upon.  That is why I titled this blog be transformed! 

So the other day I was thinking about this verse and about the very last sentence.  I went to a retreat this past week at church, and the last speaker was a heart surgeon from southern california.  He started off his sermon saying that you never know when God is going to take your life.  I began to think about God's will and how we are always told "not my will but God's be done".  And that is easy to hear but it is often hard to comprehend.  What is God's will?  How do I know what God wants?  What am I supposed to do in this situation?  And it was hard for me to understand and choose God's plan in situations when I didn't understand which choice was God's plan.  And as I was thinking and driving the song Give Me Faith came on the radio.  

"I need You to soften my heart; to break me apart; I need You to open my eyes; To see that You're shaping my life

All I am, I surrender

Give me faith to trust what You say; That You're good and Your love is great; I'm broken inside, I give you my life"

As I sang along it was evident to me that God's plan for my life is perfect, but I still felt like it was hard to know where exactly God wanted me to go.  But as I was thinking about Romans 12:2 I began to think about the last two sentences and how it says, "THEN you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing, and perfect will".  To follow God's good, pleasing, and perfect will for my life I can't conform to the world.  To follow his will I have to know God's word and stay in touch with him.  It is impossible to live a life full of worldly desires, and still follow God's perfect plan for my life.   

So that is what i'll leave you to think about today.  If it's not always clear what God wants you to do, ask yourself if you are of the world or in it.  

1 John 2:15 "Do not love the world or anything in the world.  If anyone loves the world, love for the father is not in them."